XMen, I Shrank the Idiots
by AngeliqueRox
Summary: Forge accidentally shrinks Lance and Pietro, and the only way for them to get normal sized again is for them to get from their house to the X-Mansion. Not as easy as you think, especially when you're an inch tall.
1. Chapter 1

Scott Summers was in a very good mood. Last night, while him and Jean were supposed to be getting ready for the danger room session the next day, they had a make-out session instead. And the Danger Room session went pretty well too, considering they hadn't planned anything.

He had just had a nice, warm, relaxing, shower, and was on his way to the kitchen to get a bottle of water.

Scott walked in the kitchen and looked around in the fridge until he spotted what he was searching for and opened up the bottle.

"What's up, Shades?"

Scott jumped and turned around to see who was speaking. He groaned when he saw Lance and Pietro sitting at the kitchen table, munching on some cookies and drinking some milk.

"What are you two doing here?" Scott asked, frowning.

"What does it look like we're doing?" asked Lance, taking another bite of a cookie.

Scott's frown deepened as he looked around for the rest of the Brotherhood.

"If you're looking for the others, you're not gonna find 'em here." Said Lance, cookie crumbs falling out his mouth as he did so.

"Wanda's out doing who-knows-what, Todd is at home eating the rest of our food, he beat all of us to it, and Fred went out to that new restaurant to go see how much food he can get away with eating before they kick him out." Pietro said, then took a drink of the milk, drinking straight from the carton.

Scott frowned some more. "Why am I not surprised?"

"And Pietro and I were starving, so we decided to go out and find some free food, and we across this place." Lance said, smirking.

"Why don't you guys get a job?" asked Scott. "That way you wouldn't keep coming here and eating all of our food."

"Aw, come on, Shades, this is only the third time this week, and it's Thursday!"

"Pietro's right, it's not like we come here every day." Lance stated as-a-matter-of-factly while he took the carton from Pietro and drank out of it, while Pietro started grabbing the cookies and stuffing them in his mouth.

Scott glared. "Yeah, it's not like we take any of your real food, just the unhealthy stuff." Pietro said as he swallowed the fifteen cookies he had somehow fit into his mouth.

Just then, Logan decided to come into the kitchen. He growled when he spotted the intruders. "I knew I smelled trouble."

Pietro gulped. "Don't worry, Mr. Wolverine, we were just leaving."

Lance nodded. "What he said."

"Why don't you take all the food you're going to need for the weekend," Scott said sarcastically.

"That's a great idea!" Pietro said. He used his super speed to get a plastic trash bag and fill it with more cookies, some chips, candy, and everything that was in the fridge.

"See ya on Monday," Lance said as he and Pietro started leaving the kitchen.

"Wait!" said Forge, barging into the kitchen. "I need someone as a candidate for my experiment, and you two are the perfect people."

"No thanks," said Pietro.

"We were just about to leave," Lance said, shrugging apologetically.

"Looks like somebody's too scared," said Scott, knowing exactly which buttons to push to make them do what Forge wanted.

"I'm not afraid of anything," said Pietro, sticking his tongue out at Scott.

"Me neither," said Lance, crossing his arms. "Let's show them who's scared."  
>They followed Forge into the danger room.<p>

"Why in here of all places?" asked Lance.

"Just in case," said Forge.  
>"What's this experiment supposed to do?" asked Pietro suspiciously. "It's not going to make of spontaneously combust, is it?"<p>

"I wish," Scott, who had followed them, muttered.

"No, it's supposed to make you shrink," Forge looked at their disapproving glares, then said, "but don't worry, I have a reverse switch to make you back to normal."

"Can't you use an apple or something like they do in the movies?" asked Lance, frowning.

"I already did, and nothing happened," said Forge. "But, I switched around some things and I know for sure that it's going to work this time, so I wanted to use living, human beings."

"Oh," said Lance.

"Just sit here," said Forge, pointing at two stools.

Pietro and Lance shrugged and sat down obediently. "Now what?" asked Pietro, getting impatient already.

"Just a flip of a switch, and, Walla! You're shrunk!" Forge pointed the invention at the two Brotherhood members, who were starting to look a little nervous.

He pressed a button, and a blue ray shot at the two members, causing them to cry out in shock, but even Pietro didn't have a chance to move as the ray shot them.

"Did it work?" asked Forge, coughing at the smoke that was starting to fill the room.

"What the fudge just happened?" he heard Pietro's voice shoot out.

"Aw, man." Forge said as he saw both Lance and Pietro, both full sized, standing there, glaring at Forge.

"I'm outta here," Pietro said, zipping out the danger room.

"Me too," said Lance. "Go find someone else to zap!"

Pietro made sure to pick up their trash bag of food before he ran out the X-Mansion and to Lance's jeep, and waited impatiently for Lance to finally get there.

"Took you long enough," said Pietro, frowning.

"I'm still in shock from the ray!" said Lance.

"Just start driving already!" Pietro snapped.

Lance rolled his eyes and pressed on the gas pedal as if he were in a Nascar race and didn't slow down for anything or anyone. Of course, Pietro didn't tell him to slow down because he always drove the same way, probably even faster, if that were possible.

Lance gave Pietro a high-five once they got home. They had only hit three little old ladies, fifteen kids, and two pregnant ladies. That was a record.

"I think we should win the award for the most hit-'n-runs," Pietro said, laughing as he picked up the bag containing their food for the weekend. He went inside and placed the bag on the kitchen floor and started rummaging through it.

"Lance, we scored big time!" Pietro said happily as Lance walked into the kitchen.

"How so?" asked Lance.

"We managed to get that Wolverine guy's beer and wine!" said Pietro. "Wow, he has that real strong stuff, too. We'll be in a coma for a week once we drink this stuff."

"I think Wanda won't approve of this," said Lance.

Pietro glanced at him deliriously. "Who cares? We can do it while she's out, she can't do anything about it if it's already done."

"I didn't know people kept beer in fridges anyway," said Lance.  
>"Aw, come on, even I know that cold beer in the best!" said Pietro, smirking at his knowledge of beer, something he shouldn't have been proud about, considering he was only seventeen years old and Lance was only eighteen.<p>

Suddenly, Pietro got bored of looking through the bag and said, "I'm gonna go watch some TV."

Lance rolled his eyes at Pietro's attention span and started putting the stuff away. Just five minutes later, Pietro came into the kitchen again.

"Lance, I feel weird." Pietro complained.

"Aw, poor baby." Lance said sarcastically. Suddenly, he started feeling all tingly too. "Wait a minute, I feel it too."

"Do you think it's because of Forge's experiment?" Pietro wondered out loud.

"Probably," said Lance. He abruptly dropped the glass milk jug when his body started vibrating. The glass and milk went everywhere.

"I feel tired all of a sudden," Pietro said, yawning.

"Me too," Lance said. He rubbed his eyes.

Pietro tried to stay awake, but failed miserably as he closed his eyes and lied down on the floor. Lance did the same.

Todd decided just then to go into the kitchen and saw Lance and Pietro lying on the floor, asleep. He shrugged his shoulders and hopped back out, deciding to go in Wanda's room to spy and see if he could find any way to see if Wanda liked him or not.

Forge sighed as he pointed the ray at an apple. He hadn't changed anything, just wanted to see if he could find out what was wrong. He pressed a button and the blue ray shot at the red fruit.

He walked up to it and looked at it. After ten minutes, he gave up and threw the apple on the ground. He went to go have a snack.

"Forge; go clean up your mess!" Logan growled from upstairs.

Forge sighed as he looked in the empty fridge. Lance and Pietro had taken all their food and drinks. Again. He went back in the Danger Room and picked up the apple that he had tried to shrink. He gasped as it started vibrating and dropped it on the floor. Just as quick as it had started vibrating, it stopped, and shrank into the size of an ant.

"This is great!" Forge said, forgetting about Lance and Pietro. He ran to go tell the others.

**Did you like it? Was it too dumb? Did I make anybody too out of character? Review and let me know!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to those who read, and more thanks to those who read AND reviewed!**

Pietro and Lance both conveniently both woke up at the same time, something that seemed to always happen in the media. They both felt like someone had hit their bodies twenty times all over with bricks in a pillow case.

"Oh, I feel like someone hit my body all over twenty times with a pillow case." Pietro moaned.

"Me too," Lance groaned.

They both stood up and took a look at their surroundings. What they saw made them nearly pee on their pants.

"Lance, is it just me, or is everything…one hundred billion times bigger than before?" Pietro asked, scratching the back of his head.

"It's not just you," said Lance, "and everything isn't bigger, we're smaller!"

"Way to be an Einstein," Pietro crossed his arms and glared. He sighed. "Look on the bright side; at least we don't sound like talking chipmunks."

Lance frowned. "So, what do we do now?"

"You're asking me? You're usually the one who comes up with the ideas!"

"But you're the one who claimed to be smarter than everyone else in this house!"

Pietro glared harder and took a look at his surroundings. They looked like they were in the kitchen, where they had fallen asleep. The milk jug had jagged pieces of glass all over the place, and they were currently standing just a few feet from the milk waterfall that was advancing towards them. Wait a minute, milk waterfall!

"Lance, run!" Pietro said, putting his leg up to bolt and his arm out to grab Lance as he did so, but once he started running, he was going at a normal pace. "What the fudge!"

"Pietro, my powers aren't working!" Lance cried as he caught up with the former speed demon.

"Mine either," Pietro said. "Now I know how everyone else feels. Not being fast sucks!"

Pietro still talked as fast as he normally did, but he no longer had super speed. Lance had tried to avalanche the floor so that the milk would fall into a crack that he made, but his powers seemed to be on hiatus as well.

Even though the milk was still getting closer and closer to them, it never caught up to them, something that also always happened in cartoons.

"What's happening to us?" Pietro started getting agitated. He hadn't felt tired from running since he was five years old. "I want my powers back!"

"Me too, but there's nothing I can do about it!" Lance snapped. He saw that they weren't going fast enough and that the milk was quickly advancing on them. He ran to a piece of glass, making sure to tell Pietro to follow. They both went on the broken piece of glass and hanged on for their dear lives as the milk came crashing down on them. They made sure not to loosen their grips on the glass as they choked on the milk.

"Man, after this, I'm never drinking milk again." Lance said. He opened his eyes and noticed with embarrassment that he had grabbed onto Pietro's hand without realizing it. He quickly let go and wiped his hands on his jeans.

Pietro acted as if nothing had happened and tried to stand up. He fell down as the 'boat', . glass, threatened to tip itself over if he didn't do so.

He was breathing hard, something Lance had never seen him do.

"What's wrong, Pietro?" asked Lance, smirking, despite what had just happened. "You tired? Scared?"

"Shut the fudge up, Lance."

Lance immediately put his serious face on as he tried to figure out what to do next. Suddenly, a light bulb formed over his head.

"Why the heck is there a light bulb floating over your head, Lance?" Pietro asked nervously.

"I have an idea!" Lance said happily. "We can go upstairs and find Toad, then ask him to bring us to the X-Geek's place so we can get this mess cleared up and be back to being hated mutant thugs who do nothing but get hangovers, steal, and make fun of the X-Geeks!"  
>"Wow, that's pretty descriptive," Pietro mused. "But, are you out of your mind? You do realize we're only about an inch tall, right? It would take us the rest of the day to get to the top of the stairs, and what if while we're on way, Todd decides to head downstairs? Or, what if someone comes home and steps on us? What if we die because we can't find anything to eat?"<p>

Lance sighed. "Always thinking about the negatives."

"Lance, we're the Brotherhood, we always think about the negative side of things."

"Oh yeah," Lance said.

"And how are we going to get out of the milk?"

"We can swim," Lance said.

"So!" Pietro wailed. He was starting to throw a temper tantrum.

"Let's go, Pietro!" Lance yelled. He grabbed Pietro by the collar of his shirt and threw him into the milk river, then followed suit. They swam to the edge of the milk and jumped onto dry land, er, the dry ground.

"Now I'm gonna stink!" Pietro wailed.

Lance was finally sick of Pietro's whining. "Shut up, Pietro! Just shut up! I feel the same exact way as you! I don't have any powers either, and you don't see me complaining! Now, we're going to follow through with my plan whether you like it or not." Lance said the last powers with a very, scary glare.

Pietro looked hurt.

"Too bad you can't run off this time," Lance said meanly.

Pietro was quiet as they headed towards the stairs. Suddenly, he spoke in a tiny whisper. "Sorry."

"What was that?" Lance asked, turning towards the white/silver haired boy.

"Nothing," Pietro said obnoxiously.

Lance turned back and around and acted as if he were going to ignore Pietro. "I'm sorry too," he whispered.

"What?" Pietro asked irritably.

"Nothing, nothing at all!" Lance said, throwing his hands up in the air.

They both smiled. The trip to the stairs was going to be a hard and trying journey, and they needed to work together if they were going to make that work.

Finally, Lance stopped short, causing Pietro to bump into him. "How come our clothes shrank with us?" He mused.

"How should I know?" Pietro asked. "In cartoons, that's usually what happens. When people shrink, their clothes shrink with them. I'm pretty happy about it though. Can you imagine if one of the guys found us an inch tall and naked?"

Lance shuddered as he imagined the guys taking pictures of naked Pietro and himself as posted it all over the internet and school walls. "Not really." He lied.

"Well I can," Pietro said. He checked his watch. "Wow, since when did I wear a watch?"

"I dunno," said Lance. "But what time is it anyways?"

Pietro guffawed when he looked at the time. "It's already 5:30 P.M.!"

"Did you have to add the P.M.?" Lance asked. "I mean, I know it's not morning."

Pietro ignored Lance. "That means we were unconscious for five hours!"

"Whoop-de-doo." Lance said, rolling his eyes. He had been unconscious for longer when he first got his powers and the headaches were much worse.

"I've never been knocked out before for that long!" Pietro wailed.

"I've been knocked cold longer than that," Lance said.

"Well, I haven't!" Pietro snapped. He frowned, and then smiled.

"You're such a strange person, you know that?" Lance said. "You have mood swings like a pregnant woman."

Pietro ignored Lance. "Look, we've finally reached the stairs!"

Lance's mouth dropped down to his feet. "But five seconds ago, we were in the kitchen!"  
>"I guess time goes by faster when you're tiny," Pietro said, shrugging his shoulders.<p>

Lance sighed. "Just because we're in a cartoon everything is so screwed."

"We are?" Pietro asked, scratching his head. "Oh yeah, we are."

"So, how do we climb the stairs?" Lance asked.

"What? You haven't come up with a plan on how to do that yet?" Pietro nearly started screaming and ran his hand through his hair.

"No," Lance said sheepishly.

Pietro was about to call Lance an idiot, when he realized that there was conveniently a tiny stick just large enough for them to use as a ladder.

"Look!" Pietro said, pointing at the stick. "Make's ya glad we never clean up, huh?"

Lance nodded enthusiastically as he and Pietro picked up the stick, which was oddly shaped as a ladder. They put it against the first step and Pietro climbed up first, then Lance followed right after. They kept on repeating this process for an hour until they decided to take a rest, er, look at their progress. They groaned as they realized they had only climbed the first five steps.

"This is taking forever!" Pietro said, wiping some sweat off of his head. He felt sticky and exhausted.

"We should stop for a while," Lance advised, noticing the condition his friend was in. Pietro's clothes and hair were matted to his body with sweat and milk and he was shivering slightly from all the exertion his muscles were going through. Lance felt tired too, but he wasn't sweating as much as his friend.

"I'm hungry," Pietro complained as he put a hand to his stomach. Lance felt his own stomach growl.

"Me too," Lance said.

Pietro reached in his pockets and pulled out some mints and at least ten chocolate bars. When he noticed the look Lance was giving him, he said, "It's for emergencies. Ya know, if I can't access food for a while. My metabolism is like, ultra-fast. But, you already know that. I wonder if it's still fast…I sure feel like it."

Lance took one of the candy bars and opened it up. He wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Gross, it's melted!"

"It's better than nothing," Pietro snapped as he decided to sit down against the wall. He put his head back and tried to gain his energy back and opened up a chocolate bar and started eating it.

"We should save a few for tomorrow, ya know, just in case." Lance said as he realized that they had gone through almost all of them.

"Mm-hm," Pietro said absent-mindedly as he obeyed Lance without even realizing it. He placed the three candy bars back in his pockets and they started heading back up the stairs.

Finally, two hours later, they reached the top. They both fell on the ground tiredly and stayed there for about fifteen minutes until they decided to get moving on. They stood up slowly and groaned as their bones popped and their muscles ached. They had felt tired before, but they had never felt tired like this since they were children! Especially Pietro. Pietro was used to always depending on his powers to give him energy, but now that he didn't have any more powers, he was not only cross, but getting exhausted rather easy.

"Well, where do you think Toad is?" Pietro asked, plastering a fake smile on his face.

Lance gave his friend a fake smile as well. "Well, knowing Toad, he's probably in Wanda's room worshipping her things."

"Most likely," said Pietro. They both left the ladder/stick at the top stair and started heading for Wanda's room. Pietro looked at the bathroom, which was straight ahead. "I'm thirsty."

"What do you want me to do about it?" Lance snapped, and then saw where Pietro was staring. Lance realized how thirsty he was too and decided to follow Pietro into the bathroom. Once they were inside ten minutes later, whereas when they were their normal sizes Lance could've been there in five seconds, Pietro one, they looked around for some water to drink. They decided on climbing the sink, which was considerably easy, considering how many huge splinters were sticking out the cupboard part of it. Once they got to the top, they both worked together to turn on the water, put a toothpaste cap under the water, which was almost as big as them, and turned it off. They carefully climbed into the bottom of the sink, making sure to be careful not to fall in the drain, cupping their hands in the water and drinking it as if they had been deprived of drinking for a week. When they finished, they both felt satisfyingly happy and full. They somehow climbed out the sink and down the splintery cupboard, and were just about to walk out, when Toad hopped inside the bathroom. He was grinning that cute grin of his when he was trying to be innocent and was pretending to waltz with an invisible Wanda. He looked content and walked towards the toilet.

"Oh no!" Lance and Pietro said at the same time. They shielded their eyes as Toad pulled his pants down and sat on the toilet. The two eldest turned away and covered their ears and started screaming bloody murder, hoping to catch Todd's attention. It didn't. He was too busy singing the Diarrhea song at the top of his lungs. Lance and Pietro started screaming as loud as they could, trying to block out Todd's screeching, and finally Todd seemed to hear something. He pulled up his pants without using tissue and looked around for the creators of the sound.

"Those dumb rats must be at it again," Todd groaned out loud. "I thought Pietro said he got rid of all of them!"  
>Pietro winced as Lance looked at him worriedly. "I kinda forgot that I said I was going to do that."<br>"What?" Lance screeched higher than Toad. "What if one of them tries to attack us?"

"Lance, calm down." Pietro said, starting to hyperventilate himself. "Everything's going to be okay."

Lance saw Pietro starting to look scared and sighed mentally. He hadn't meant to try and scare Pietro. He put a reassuring hand on the younger one's shoulder. "Just breathe, Pietro."

Pietro started to calm himself down, but did not stop keeping his muscles so tense. His eyes went wide with fear when he noticed what Toad was doing.

"Well, time to take my monthly bath." Todd shuddered. "At least I'm not usin' soap."

He stripped his clothes off and Pietro and Lance blushed and looked away, until they remembered what their goal was. They tried to get Toad's attention once more. They waved and waved and screamed until their voices were cracking. Todd couldn't hear them for some odd reason. They guessed it was because it was hard for their tiny voices to carry far distances.  
>Todd shuddered again as he turned on the water. He was going to do the most dangerous mission ever. He was going to take a shower. He stepped inside, stayed in there for five minutes, and stepped out, not being able to take it anymore. He got a towel and rubbed himself dry, then put his clothes that he had worn earlier back on.<p>

Lance and Pietro were glad that they were on the ground because they realized that the steam from the shower couldn't reach them, but they frowned when Todd stepped out the shower and put on the clothes he had been wearing the whole entire month back on. No wonder he stank so badly! The bathroom didn't even smell like soap, which made them feel even more disgusted. They realized they might be able to get his attention though if they climbed the sink again, and they did so. They choked a little, the steam filling their lungs. They screamed Toad's name ten more times right before he reached the door, but he still couldn't hear them and opened the door and hopped out.

"No!" Pietro wailed, dropping on his knees in teen angst. Lance just looked like he wanted to cry.

"So close, but yet, so far away." Lance said miserably as Pietro finished angsting on his knees and stood up.

"What does that mean?" Pietro asked.

"I have no idea, but it sounds like the right thing to say right now."

"Yeah, you're right." Pietro agreed. They're eyes watered as they began descending the sink once more and finally they got away from the steam and out the bathroom.

They heard a squeal that sounded like an animal and then both proceeded to shriek and turn around to see what it was.

A huge, albino rat with glowing, red eyes stared at them hungrily. Foam came out of its mouth as it stared at what was probably going to be its dinner.

"Is that normal, Lance?" Pietro asked, shivering all over. He pinched himself again and again, hoping he would wake up from this horrible nightmare already, but it didn't work.

"No," Lance's voice quivered as he spoke. "At least, I don't think so."

Suddenly, the rat pounced in their direction, and they ran out of the way and stupidly ran into a corner. The rat snarled and started heading towards the corner…cornering them. They felt like crying.

"I'd give anything to have my powers right now," Pietro wailed.

"Same here," Lance said.

Pietro smiled faintly and held out his right hand at Lance. "It was nice knowing ya, buddy."

Lance shook his hand. "Likewise, my friend."

Pietro grinned. "We'll have a party tomorrow morning."

"Yep." Lance said. "With balloons, and cake, and…and…stuff like that."

Meanwhile, the rat waited patiently for the boys to finish.

"It's too bad that your father never really…ya know." Lance said awkwardly.

"Yeah, I know. He didn't care about me." Pietro sighed. "I'm sorry you didn't have parents at all, though."

"Oh, it's fine." Lance said awkwardly. Suddenly, tears filled his eyes and he hugged the slightly shorter white-haired boy. "I love ya, man!"

Pietro visibly stiffened and held his breath. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, Lance let go and sniffled. "Sorry."

Pietro smiled. "It's okay. Nobody's ever said that to me before besides Wanda when we were little." He turned around so that Lance wouldn't see him cry.

Lance patted his back. "It's alright man, just let it out. It's healthy."

Pietro smiled and turned towards Lance again. "I love you too!" Now both of them were crying their eyes out, and had completely forgotten about the rat.

They heard a squeal and realized the rat was waiting to finish them off. They stood up bravely and told to rat to do its worse. The rat though, was crying. That was the saddest thing it had ever seen!

The rat gave them a reassuring smile and scampered off into a random hole.

Pietro and Lance wiped their faces with their shirts and refused to look at each other.

"You know, when I said I loved you, I didn't mean it in a…homo way." Lance said, feeling extra awkward now.

"I know that," Pietro snapped, feeling just as awkward. "You have a girlfriend."

"Yeah, and you have tons of girls." Lance said.

Something in Pietro snapped. "I forgot I have five dates tonight!"

"Well, you missed them. I don't think a girl would want to date an inch tall guy anyway."

"Shut up, Lance." Pietro said gloomily. Lance smirked.

They kept on walking until they became exhausted once more. Even though heat usually rises, and outside it was about forty degrees, and the Brotherhood house always had the same weather as outside, they still felt like they were burning up. They were sweaty, sticky, and exhausted.  
>All of a sudden, there was a thump, thump, thump, as if Godzilla was coming. They gasped when they saw Fred get to the top of the stairs. He was eating a peanut butter, jelly, banana, chip sandwich. He tripped on the stick they had left at the top step and cursed as he fell down the stairs. He climbed up the stairs again and his sandwich was still intact. He started walking towards the direction Pietro and Lance were. Suddenly, hit foot was advancing towards them very quickly. Pietro ran as fast as he could with Lance on his tail, but it was no use. They couldn't get away in time. They prepared to die for real this time as Blob's foot finally went on top of them.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter isn't as funny, but anyways, thanks to those who read, and even more to you who reviewed.**

Lance and Pietro prepared to die for real this time as Blob's foot went on top of them. They threw themselves sideways to the floor and prepared to be squashed like a bug.

Pietro opened an eye when he heard Lance call his name. "Is this…heaven?"  
>"No," Lance said. "Look! We went in between the spaces of Fred's shoes!"<p>

"How convenient," Pietro said, sighing happily.

"We've been having lots of lucky moments today," Lance said.

"Yeah, it's amazing everything that can happen in just one day!" Pietro replied. They walked and walked some more until they decided to take another break. They were feeling worse and worse by the minute.

"Do you think we're dying, Pietro?" Lance asked sadly.

"Most likely," Pietro said, shrugging his shoulders as he sat on the floor.

"Man, this really sucks." Lance said. "Who knew being tiny was such hard work?"

"I know, _man_." Pietro said, emphasizing the word man, hinting to Lance that he was making fun of him, but Lance was too tired to realize it.

"I sure hope we get someone's attention soon," said Pietro. "I'm gonna go crazy if I have to spend another day without my powers!"

"Look," said Lance, noticing a broken piece of mirror on the ground. It was about three inches tall, so they could look into it fine.

Pietro was sweating profusely. Lance was sweating a lot too, but not as much as Pietro. Both their clothes were matted to their bodies, and their hair was sticking up in random places. Their skin looked dry as heck, and they both looked ready to go unconscious. Their eyes were wild and glassy. Pietro's hands twitched as his sides. Lance had his arms crossed and noticed that his hair looked extremely oily. Both their faces were red.

"What's happening to us?" Lance wondered.

"I'm too young to die!" Pietro wailed. He dropped to his knees in angst again.

"Shut up," Lance said. Pietro looked up at Lance with his big, blue eyes.

"This is kind of scary," Pietro admitted, looking away shyly. "I mean, I usually only get this way in the summer when I don't drink enough water."

"I never get this way period." Lance said. He sat next to Pietro and wrapped a brotherly arm around him. "But don't worry; I'm sure someone's bound to notice that we're missing."

"I hope so," Pietro grumbled. He was started to feel nauseas from the heat wave he thought was happening. He looked at his watch and gasped. "Wow, this watch tells time, it has a compass, AND it tells the weather!"

"What's the weather, then?" Lance asked, trying to sound interested.

"Forty-five degrees," Pietro said. "And it's 3:33A.M."

"Was it really necessary to say AM?" Lance asked. "I mean, I know it's not the afternoon yet."

"Shut up, Lance." Pietro said. He groaned a little bit.

"What's wrong?" Lance asked.

"Nothing," Pietro snapped.

"Sheesh, I was just asking." Lance said, putting his arms up in defense.

"Yeah, well, I'm fine." Pietro said, crossing his arms. He started breathing harder.

"You don't sound or look fine at all," Lance said, standing up to go check on his fast friend.

"You're not looking so hot yourself," Pietro snapped at Lance again. He stood up, anticipating a fight, but felt like an idiot as he did so. His stomach lurched and his mouth filled with saliva. An instant later, Pietro was puking on the floor.

"What do I do?" Lance cried. He didn't have any knowledge about taking care of a sick person, not being a person to get sick that often himself. He only got sick when he was flying in a plane/jet/helicopter, which wasn't very often.

Pietro finished puking in the corner and looked at Lance. "I feel much better now."

Lance just looked at him incredulously. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Pietro said, wiping some sweat off his face again. "Man, I wonder if this is what hell is like. I'd kill to have something to drink right now!"

"Me too," Lance said, avoiding looking at the puke.

They were thirstier than they were hungry and finally realized why they felt the way that they felt. They were dehydrated.

"Man, we're dehydrated!" Lance declared.

"I know," Pietro croaked. His throat felt like he had swallowed cotton.

"Didn't we just drink water like, an hour and a half ago?" Lance asked.

"Yes, but that didn't help any." Pietro said, giving Lance a weak smile.

"I wonder how we're dehydrating so fast if it's almost freezing outside!" Lance was the one who was starting to get nervous now. "Maybe it's a side effect of the experiment or something. But why did YOU dehydrate faster when you don't even have your powers anymore?"

"Because even before I got my powers I always dehydrated pretty fast," Pietro said calmly.

"What if they never find us?" Lance's voice was getting higher. "What if…we die! What if we go insane?"

Pietro grabbed Lance by his collar and pulled him closer. "Shut up!" Pietro screamed. "Get a grip, will you?"

Suddenly, Pietro had a flashback.

"_Sir, I don't feel good." Kid Pietro said to his father._

"_You'll feel better after the exercises."_

"_But-"_

"_No buts!" Erik said sternly. He watched as his son began to run on the treadmill. Suddenly, about a second later, Kid Pietro had thrown up all over the treadmill._

"_I'm sorry!" Kid Pietro wailed. "I'm a failure! I got sick and now you're going to send me away too, just like Wanda, right? I'm so stupid! What's wrong with me? I'm an idiot and I'll never amount to anything!" Kid Pietro wailed some more until Erik couldn't take it anymore._

"_Shut up!" Erik yelled as he pulled the sweaty, feverish boy towards him by the arm. "Get a grip, will you?"_

"Pietro, what's wrong?" Lance yelled, waving his hand in front of Pietro's blank face.

"I'm sorry," Pietro said as if he were a robot. "I was just having a flashback."

"Wow, I've never had one of those before." Lance said in awe. "What's it like?"

"It's kind of creepy. You remember everything as if you were there." Pietro was still talking in a neutral voice.

"Pietro, are you okay?"

Pietro nodded absent-mindedly. "Let's just get some rest, Lance. I'm more tired than I've been in years right now."

Lance nodded in agreement. "But where exactly do we sleep?"

"I dunno, let's find someplace safe." Pietro said. He and Lance walked around until they reached Pietro's room. "I have to say, it's pretty safe in here." Pietro joked.

"I hope so," said Lance. "You aren't exactly the neatest person in the world."

"I'm neater than Toad," Pietro scoffed. He was acting like his normal self already.

"I guess so," said Lance. They went under the small space of the door and went inside.

"Wow, it's much neater than last time I was in here." Lance stated.

"Yeah, that was before I became a neat freak and started caring about messes." Pietro said, smiling. They walked until they got to his bed and used an empty pizza box to help hoist themselves up so they could climb the rest. They almost didn't make it, but they finally reached the top. They cheered and pumped fists. Then they saw something that should have had a halo over it. A water bottle, sideways so that they could open it much easier. They practically skipped over to the water it looked so angelic. They both worked together and managed to open it. More than half the bottle had been drank out of, so nothing was spilling out. They climbed inside and drank from the wonderful water.

"It tastes like heaven," Lance said.

"How do you know what heaven tastes like?" Pietro asked.

"I'm just taking a guess," Lance said.

After they had drunk pretty much all of it, they climbed out satisfied and full. They started heading for the pillow, figuring it was the softest place to be, when all of a sudden; a spider came out, venom dangerously dripping down its fangs.

"This day just keeps on getting better and better," Lance said as the spider pounced at them. They were too tired to move.

They were finally going to die.


	4. Chapter 4

"This day just keeps on getting better and better," Lance said as the spider pounced at them. They were too tired to move.

They were finally going to die.

It seemed as if the spider was taking forever to finally reach them, but of course, since it was a cartoon, it never did. They used the last of their strength and moved slowly out of the way as the spider finally reached the place where they had been.

The spider seemed miffed. It walked towards them again. Suddenly, Pietro's door flew open.

"Pietro, where are you?" Toad's voice filled the room. "Wanda's been lookin' for you for an hour, yo."

Todd looked around for half a second, and then when he realized Pietro supposedly wasn't in the room, grinned evilly.

"Time to find Pietro's secret stash," Toad said. He looked around in some dressers and pulled out some light blue speedos and threw them behind him like people always did in cartoons. He threw some more clothes until he found what he was looking for. "Yes!" He did a fist pump as he found Pietro's stash of chocolate. "Girls love chocolate."

Poor tiny Lance and Pietro were yelling with all their might in the slight hope that Toad would find them, but he didn't. That is, until Toad spotted the spider that had been strangely still throughout the whole time.

"Time for a midnight snack," Toad said as he stuck his tongue out and caught the spider, almost eating Lance and Pietro in the process. "Wait a minute," he said as he spotted two tiny specks that looked an awful lot like people.

"Toad, down here!" Pietro yelled, waving his arms. Toad inched closer and closer, but all of a sudden, Wanda barged into the room.

"Toad, what are you doing?" She snarled.

"Nothing Babycakes, just looking for Pietro is all." Todd said, grinning innocently. "Want some chocolate?"

"Not from you," she said, rolling her eyes. "Where's Pietro?"

"No sign of him," Todd said. "Just wonderin' though, why do you care? You don't seem to like him very much."

"That's none of your business," Wanda said as she crossed her arms. "Just…leave, okay?"

"Whatever you say, Cuddlebumps." Toad hopped out the room.

Wanda sighed in relief as Todd hopped out and she threw herself on Pietro's bed. She didn't know why, but she always felt strange when she didn't know where Pietro was. It made her feel lonely for some reason.

Pietro and Lance had flown up twenty feet in the air when Wanda had thrown herself on the bed and had a nice, soft landing though on Pietro's pillow. They had started screaming Wanda's name as loud as possible, hoping someone would finally hear them. They looked at the window that seemed miles away and saw sunlight streaming through it. Pietro looked at his watch.

"It's 8:30." Pietro said.

"Thanks for not saying AM this time," Lance said. Both their voices were getting hoarse from yelling all day long.

"You're welcome," Pietro said sarcastically.

Wanda sat up as she thought she heard two tiny voices screaming her name and dismissed it as nothing as she sat up and decided to get herself some breakfast.

"Nooooooooo!" Pietro yelled as he fell on his knees on angst for the umpteenth time that day.

"Man, you've got to slow it down with all this angst and stuff." Lance said.

"I can't help it," Pietro said as he started sobbing. "I just want to be back to normal again."  
>"I do too, but do you see ME crying and ansting over it?"<p>

Pietro sniffled. "No."

Lance gave Pietro a look he hoped was disarming, but since he was supposedly evil, it just made Pietro even more upset. "Let's just get some sleep, okay?"

Lance sighed as he rubbed his eyes. "Alright."

_At the X-Geek's Place…_

"Isn't this great, guys?" Forge asked for the billionth time.

"Why'd you build a shrinking machine, anyways? How's it supposed to make the world a better place?" Evan asked.

Everyone stared at him. Why did he have to ask the questions that made you think the most?

Scott thankfully interrupted everyone's thinking. "Guys, remember how we used it on Lance and Pietro?"

"Yeah," said Evan. "So what?"

"How'd you know about it anyways?" Kurt asked. "You weren't even there."

"I dunno," Evan said. "I just did."

"Getting back to the subject," Scott gritted his teeth, "remember how the apple shrank after about ten minutes that the ray shot it?"

"Yeah," everyone was starting to get impatient.

"Well, maybe since they're bigger, it took even longer, but they might have shrunk too." Scott said.

Everyone gasped like they cared even though they didn't. "Does that mean they could have shrank while they were driving back home?" Jean asked.

"Maybe," Scott said, glad that his little speech made Jean proud.

"Puh-leez, have you seen how Lance drives? He probably got home in five minutes." Kitty said.

"But it's a fifteen minute drive," Kurt said.

"Exactly," Kitty replied.

"Well, since they are much bigger, I suppose it would take about an hour, maybe more, for them to start shrinking." Forge said.

More gasps that sounded like they cared about Lance and Pietro. "We should like, get the Professor."

"Good thinking, Kitty." Scott said as they all headed towards the Professor's office.

"Professor!" They all said at once when they barged in.

Their mouths dropped when they saw Magneto and Professor gambling with each other. They both had bottles of Vodka next to their playing cards and so far, it looked like Professor was winning.

"What did I say about interrupting me when I'm working?" Professor said angrily.

"We can all see that you're working very hard to make the world a better place," Kitty said, nodding seriously.

Xavier glared at his students. "You're lucky I'm not drunk yet. What do you want?"

"Does Magneto have to hear this too? I don't think he'll be very happy…" Evan said.

"I'm not leaving," Erik said sternly.

"It has to do with Lance and Pietro," Jean said, moving her head so that her hair would move as she spoke. "Yesterday, they were here and-"

"Why in the name of the Devil were Lance and Pietro here?" Magneto asked, looking upset.

"They said something about not having any food or money," Scott said.

Magneto started muttering under his breath about his idiotic son and friends.

"As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted," Jean said, tossing her hair again, "they were here eating our food then Forge said he wanted to have someone for his experiment and that nothing would go wrong in it and so he used the both of them for it because they said they weren't scared and nothing happened and then he used an apple after they left and after ten minutes it shrank and we didn't realize until now that they could have shrank too and we're worried sick and-" Jean passed out from her long, run-on sentence.

"Finally she shut up," Evan said, looking relieved.

Magneto seemed miffed. "Are you saying that Quicksilver and Avalanche are shrunk right now walking around about an inch tall around the Brotherhood house?"

Everyone blinked. "Yes, yes we are." Scott said.

"Wow, you're harsh, you didn't even call them by their real names," Evan snickered.

Professor glared at his idiotic students. "Well, let's alert them right away."

"Why? Can't we let them suffer?" Scott whined.

Xavier sighed. "Scott, as much as I'd like to say yes, it has already been nearly twenty-four hours since the ray shot them, I think they have suffered enough."

Scott frowned but became happy again as Jean woke up. "What happened?" She asked.

"You forgot to speak with commas so you passed out," Kurt said.

"Oh," Jean said. "I've got to stop doing that."

"Well, what are we waiting for, let's go warn them!" Magneto said, flying off in the direction of the Brotherhood house.

_Back at the Brotherhood house…_

To say that the Brotherhood boys and Wanda weren't surprised when Magneto and the X-Geeks came barging into their house was an understatement.

"What are you doing here, father?" asked Wanda. (**She doesn't have her real memories in this story.)**

"I came to bring you terrible news," Magneto said.

"Well, what are they?" Todd asked impatiently.

"Yeah, we're missing an episode of Jersey Shore cuz of you."

"P-"

"Pietro and Lance are only one inch tall so you've got to be sure not to step on them," Forge said.

"I wanted to say that," Magneto pouted.

"Get over it, man." Evan said.

Toad, Fred, and Wanda's mouths all dropped. They checked the bottom of their right shoe, then sighed in relief when they didn't see any guts.

"What about your left shoe?" asked Kitty.

"If we stepped on someone, it would be on the right shoe." Todd stated, smiling as if he were very smart to know this information.

"Oh," said Kitty. "That's makes no sense whatsoever, but okay."

"Everyone, get out a magnifying glass and start looking for Lance and Pietro, they could be anywhere." Wanda ordered.

"We've got to be sure not to step on them, though." Fred said.

"No, duh!" Evan said, rolling his eyes.

"No wonder Pietro doesn't like you," Toad said.

"Shut the fudge up and let's start looking for them already," Evan said, frowning.

After about an hour of searching, they still hadn't found them, so the X-Men gave up.

"Bye guys, keep on searching and let us know when you've found them!" Jean said, writing down her phone number and putting it on their splintered kitchen table.

Once they had left, Todd grinned. "We got a chick's number, yo."

Professor Xavier was disappointed. "I'm disappointed," He said. "I told you to do something simple compared to most of the things you do, and you didn't do it! The X-Men never give up!"

"Uh, yes we do." Evan said. "We've given up lots of times!"

"That's not the point," Xavier said. "The point is that there are two fellow mutants in need and you aren't helping them!"

"That's being kind of racist," said Evan. "It's kinda like me saying that I'm gonna go help two fellow black people in need."

Everyone nodded in agreement. "I didn't mean it that way!" Professor said. Darn, he shouldn't have had those two bottles of Vodka while his students were out.

"Then what way did you mean it?" Kitty asked innocently.

"You know what? Let's just let the Brotherhood find their teammates themselves." Scott said.

"Will you leave me be if I say yes?" Professor X asked.

"Yes," was the instant reply.

"Then, yes, let's let them find their teammates themselves. Now go away, I have a headache."

"Yes Professor," said Scott.

The X-Men all hurried out of the room before the Professor could change his mind.

_Back at the Brotherhood house…_

"I can't believe they just left us hanging, yo." Toad whined.

"I can," said Wanda. "Those X-Men always do stuff like that to us."

"Yeah, it's so mean." Said Fred. **(That rhymes!)**

"Maybe we should let them know we're looking for them," Todd said.

"Shut up, I'm trying to think." Wanda said. Suddenly, a light bulb appeared over her head. Todd looked scared.

"Where'd that light bulb come from?" he asked nervously.

"I have an idea; maybe we should let them know we're looking for them!" Wanda said happily.

"I thought I just said that," Todd said.

"No, I just did." Wanda said.

"Whatever you say, Sweetie."

"Yeah, we can write it down on paper and tell them to write something down if they've seen it or something." Fred said.

Wanda acted as if Fred hadn't just said that. "We can write down something on paper and tell them to do something signalizing that they've seen it! I'm so smart!"

Fred scratched his head. "But I thought I just said that. Wouldn't that make ME smart?"  
>"Girls always take guys' smart ideas and to try to make themselves feel smart, yo."<p>

"I always thought it was the other way around."

"That's just what girls want you to think," Toad said.

"Oh," said Blob, even though he really still didn't know what Todd was talking about.

"What should we write down?" Wanda asked.

"I have an idea!" Todd said. He scribbled something on some loose leaf paper he didn't even know he had. "How's this?"

Wanda read it lightning quick. "It's good I guess. It'll hafta do. We're going to put up papers like this all over the house though so we can be sure they'll see it."

Two hours later, Todd, Fred, and Wanda had put up thirteen papers in every room, hallway, and other place in house they could think of. Why thirteen? Because it was an unlucky number and only unlucky numbers caused the Brotherhood good luck for some strange reason. Now, they could only wait.

**What did they write in the paper? You're going to have to wait to find out because not even I know that! I make this stuff up as I go. That's how the ridonculous humor comes out! Yes, I know I misspelled ridiculous. Crazy, right? I didn't spell something right! Please read and review, and sorry for the random authors comments in bold parenthesis.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey people's, I'm back with this story! Check out my other stories as well! Especially my most recent ones like **_**Wanda's Diary**_**. Anyways, enjoy this chapter. And sorry for Wanda's OOCness last chapter. I like to write crazy stories, in case you haven't noticed. I get crazier and crazier with my writing until I eventually mess up the character or the whole story altogether. Please forgive me for that.**

Pietro and Lance woke up at the same time once again and sighed when they saw they were still little tiny people.

"What did we ever do wrong?" Pietro asked sadly.

Lance gave Pietro a look. "Uh, Pietro, we're the Brotherhood. Everything we do is wrong."  
>"Oh, yeah."<p>

They climbed off the bed and out of Pietro's room. They stopped when they noticed that there were sheets of paper scattered all throughout the hallway.

"What are all these?" Pietro asked.

"Pieces of paper," Lance stated.

"I know that, you bonehead."

"Look Pietro, there's writing on it, and I think it's for us!"

"Really? I thought it was for Henry the ghost." Pietro mocked.

"Henry?"

"Hey, it's the first name I thought of!"  
>"Why didn't you say Casper the friendly ghost, or Billy Bob, like most people do?"<p>

"Because…just shut up Lance, okay?"

The paper read this:

_Dear Guys,_

_Please come back. If you see this paper call my cell # unless you don't have it with you .shoot you probably don't. Um just give us some sort of sign. Rip off a peace of the paper or something so we know you read it._

_Signed, _

_ Toad & Fred_

"Ah, my eyes are burning!" Pietro said melodramatically.

"Why? The guys know we're missing, and they're out looking for us now! Aren't you happy about that?" Lance was confused.  
>"Yes, it's just that…they have the writing skills of a two year old!"<p>

"We could die of basically anything right now, and you're criticizing your friends' writing skills?"

"But Lance, look at this paper! They have terrible punctuation, grammar skills, run-on sentences, and not to mention their writing looks like a person with no fingers wrote it."

"Pietro, just because you have girl's handwriting doesn't mean you can criticize theirs."

"I do NOT have girl's handwriting! Why does everyone always say that?"

"Maybe because it's true…"

"You know what, Lance? Let's just do what the papers say to do and get this over with."

"Fine then," Lance said.

Both of them walked closer to the paper and then realized as they got closer to it that it was about six inches taller than them.

"Man, I wish we didn't have to depend on idiots to save our lives."

"You said it Lance," Pietro said. Just then, a light bulb flashed over Pietro's head. "I've got an idea!"

He whispered in Lance's ear. Since this is a cartoon, it sounded like, "Psst, psst, psst, psst, psst, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. ."

In between each psst, wah, and hewehsheweh, Lance cried out comments like, "Really? No way! You can't be serious! There's no way I'm doing that, Pietro!"

Pietro stopped whispering and said, "It's the only way this is going to work, Lance."

"Why were we whispering in the first place?"  
>"To give the readers suspense and make them wonder what we said. Plus, this chapter needs more words in it, so the author is just making us do stupid crap to cover for the fact that she only updates about twice a month." Pietro said.<p>

"Oh, that makes sense."

Meanwhile, with the X-Men…

"I'm beginning to feel guilty about leaving the Brotherhood to look for their teammates alone," Jean said. She was lying on the X-Couch looking up at the ceiling.

"Me too," Scott lied so that he could look good for his girlfriend. "I really think we should go out and help them."

He immediately regretted his words as he saw Jean sit up and her eyes light up with delight.

"Oh Scott, you're so kind and considerate. That was just a test to see if you'd go so far as to help the Brotherhood to impress me. You passed with flying colors! You're so cute; I could just kiss you all night long!"

And that they did. **(Ha, you thought I was going to make the X-Men come back and help the Brotherhood, huh? Well you thought wrong!)**

Brotherhood house with Toad and Fred…

"Yo, what's taking them so long?"

Fred chuckled. "I like how we used improper English on purpose to make Pietro upset. I wonder how he reacted to that…"

"He probably freaked out and gave a speech on how we're idiots and we don't know proper English."

"Yeah."

The two boys sat in silence for a little while, until they got tired of it and turned on the television so it wouldn't sound so quiet.

"Hey, what's that noise?" asked Pietro.

"It sounds like TV," Lance stated.

"Really?" Pietro said sarcastically.

"Why do you ask questions and get all defensive when I answer you?"

"Shut up, Lance."

"Come and make me, Pietro."

"I will!"

"Go ahead!"

Pietro reached behind him and picked up a random gun that was just the right size for him and faced Lance. Lance did the same.

As they faced each other with their pistols to their sides, cowboy music started playing from the TV downstairs. You know, the kind that plays when two cowboys are gonna fight against each other at twelve noon in a dusty, old town and people act like retards and hide in barrels and animals drinking spots instead of going inside like normal people?

They started walking towards each other slowly and when they finally got close to each other and aimed at one another and pulled the trigger, only a little bang! sign came out the bullet hole.

"What are we wasting our time for?" Pietro asked. "We need to go through with my plan so we can rip a little bit of the paper off."

"Fine," Lance said angrily. He was really hoping a real bullet would come out.

As they started getting ready for their plan to work, suddenly the hugest cockroach they'd ever seen came charging for them. They were going to die for certain this time!

**I bet it's getting annoying sending all these things to kill them, huh? Well, I'm just copying the show. In X-Men: Evolution, bad things like someone about to be crushed or hurt are about to happen, and then after the commercial break, the bad thing is further away and the victim manages to get away. I mean, what the crap! I want to see bad things happen once in a while! So, basically I'm torturing you in the same ways the show does.**

**Lolz, don't forget to read and review!**


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